im holly from the hills drunk
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize