My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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