curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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