He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
