We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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