woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
