Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
