We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
