respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize