party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
