that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Randomize
