Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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