Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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