I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
