weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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