his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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