My friends, they love my intelligence
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Semen is not good for contacts.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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