Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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