How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
