my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
