What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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