I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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