Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
