I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
