Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
