Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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