4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
