a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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