please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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