I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
how drunk are you?
Several
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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