i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
accomplished twins. life is a go
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There r osticjed everywhere
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
