someone threw a dead crab at me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
