stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
