that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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