He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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