if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
