Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
