glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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