I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
