literally had 100 drinks last night.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
