A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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