I'm drive I can fine osifer
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize