fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Panties = found
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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