Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
