I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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