I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
