I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
