I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
His nipple licking is glorious
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