Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
