I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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