Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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