U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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