I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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