dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize