were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
