Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
