I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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