his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
