Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
